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Family Traditions

memories“Did you get to choose your birthday menu, like when we were kids?”, I asked my older brother.

Although this was one of my favourite memories, it was one he had forgotten until I mentioned it.

Not only did I remember the special feeling I got from being able to choose the meal, I carried the tradition on with my children. To be honest, I didn’t realize that not every family did this! When my children brought home significant others I would be met with surprise when I wanted to honour them by cooking their favourite meal.

That’s the way it is with some family traditions. They become so second nature that we believe our way to be commonplace and not an exception.

My brother, who is eight years older than me, asked if our mom was still baking her special bread when I went to school. I laughed at the memory. That tradition was definitely not normal!

For Valentine’s Day my mom would put pink food colouring in the bread dough and I’d go to school with pink sandwiches! On Saint Patrick’s Day, she’d do the same with green food colouring. Initially, this caused quite a stir in my classroom. As years went by, my friends would explain my unusual lunch to new kids before I got a chance to!

I also grew up with money in my birthday cake. Mom would take coins, wrap each in wax paper and insert them into the cake before she iced it. The total amount equaled my age. Whoever got a coin in their piece of cake got to keep it and this always caused excitement for friends at my birthday parties. I was the only one who’s mom did this. Lucky me!

Looking back, I see how these simple traditions let me know I was loved. Maybe this is why I still express my love by baking for others.

My husband and I have started a few traditions of our own with our kids and grandkids. I’ll save those stories for another day.

For now, I’m wondering what special traditions you have in your family. They may or may not have to do with food! I’d love to hear about them and how they have shaped who you are today.

Construction Ahead

travel, road workOn our recent drive from Calgary to Vancouver, we encountered many areas with road work in progress. Signage informed us of the upcoming disruption, often with the words, “Construction ahead, expect delays.”

To allow for the unknown conditions ahead of us, extra time was built into our travel schedule. We were fortunate that many of the delays on this trip were minimal.

Although delays seem to be an inevitable part of travel, do I build the same flexibility into my life? How big a disruption is caused by unexpected events?

To quote a well-known song written by Canadian musician Tom Cochrane, “Life is a highway.” Let me tell you how I relate to this sentiment.

In this journey of life, I encounter accidents or situations that cause damage, both physical and mental. Necessary repairs may require rest and restoration. This unknown is not anything I can plan for.

I am also slowed down by necessary maintenance. The less time I devote to this now, the more time will be needed later.

In my younger years, these delays were inconvenient and caused upset as I wasn’t reaching my destination (goals) on the schedule I’d set out. The resulting stress often compounded my setback.

Now I am learning to look at the delays and detours as opportunities. They take me to places I wouldn’t have otherwise experienced. When I choose to pay attention, there is much to be learned in the pauses of life. They may be there for an important reason.

This is the position I find myself currently in. My priorities are shifting and I am no longer in a rush. Diversions provide some interesting experiences. The pauses restore and refresh. I am still under construction and am determined to enjoy the scenery on this ride!

What Did I Miss?

observationSomething was missing on my morning walks alongside the creek this year. One day I realized I had only seen a few ducks and none with ducklings. I enjoyed watching numerous fluffy little ones last year and wondered where this year’s babies were. There must be some nearby. Why hadn’t I spotted any?

In mid-July, I saw a duck family sunning themselves on a large rock in the creek. The ducklings were the same colour as their mother by now, so were well camouflaged, and easy to miss if I wasn’t paying attention. I stopped to watch them and take a few pictures.

Curiosity caused me to wonder if they’d been there all along, so I made a conscious effort to check that same area over the next few days. Each time, I was rewarded with a view of them either sunning or swimming in the area.

Why hadn’t I seen them before? It’s not as if my eyes are downcast when I walk.
After some thought, I realized that my focus had been on the path ahead of me and in my quest for exercise, I hadn’t always taken the time to slow down and look around. I thought I was aware of my surroundings, but obviously this was not the case.

This brings up more questions that have been in the back of my mind all this time. They won’t go away until I deal with them. What do I miss on a daily basis? And, how many areas of my life does this impact? This is about much more than failing to notice the ducks.

The little things I miss can add up to big things. Relationships, opportunities, adventures and so much more could be impacted.

I need to be more aware of the people and things that surround me. In order to live life to the fullest, I must be willing to stop and embrace the unexpected. God has given me a wonderful life for me and I don’t want to miss any of it!

life lessons
zooming in on duck family

Life Isn’t Multiple Choice

decisions learningFor just over two years I’ve been studying Spanish on a language app. Every day I spend time doing lessons. After 832 days, I’ve learned a lot of words but still can’t hold a simple conversation in Spanish.

Many of the lessons give me multiple choices for the answers. The words are provided and I either have to chose the one or two correct ones to complete a sentence or translate an English sentence with some of the words provided. This is much easier for me than having to translate a sentence from English to Spanish as I don’t have to come up with the words from memory.

In my frustration one day, I blurted out, “This isn’t working for me anymore. I won’t have simple multiple choices in front of me when I want to speak. Life doesn’t work that way.”

My words caused a lightbulb moment! Life is not effectively lived in a multiple-choice scenario. Why then, do I look for a short list of solutions to choose from when I have a decision to make? It’s even better if someone else can give me answers that make no sense and one that’s clearly correct.

While this may initially sound like a good idea, it is in the trying, failing and figuring things out for myself that I will become fluent. In other words, I need to immerse myself in the process of living.

In learning a language, and in life, I must challenge myself to move into the unknown. It is comfortable to take the easy route, rely on tried-and-true options and congratulate myself on what I have already accomplished. This won’t get me to where I want to be.

There will be mistakes and times of frustration, but each will move me one step closer to success. No more multiple choice, it’s time to get fully immersed.

Success?

village, unassuming“I travelled on an unfamiliar road today,” my friend told me. The quiet route had taken her past a small village named Success.

“That sounds like a great place to live,” I said.

She replied, “I don’t know. It didn’t look like there was much there.”

For me, I wanted to be able to honestly say that I was living in success every day!

My curiosity was aroused and I needed to find out more about this unassuming village with such an inspiring name. A bit of research led me to a few interesting facts about Success, Saskatchewan. It has a population of 45 and a land mass of 1.36 square kilometres. Now I understood why it didn’t look like much to someone passing by.

Like the village, what I consider success might not look like much to an outsider. I don’t need a big house, fancy car, the latest fashions or expensive jewelry to feel successful.

At one time I thought being given important responsibilities or having more followers on social media were keys to success. It seemed like it for awhile, but my self-worth couldn’t be dependent on sources out of my control.

Zig Ziglar, an influencer and encourager, defined success in a way that resounds with me. He said, “Success is not measured by what you do compared to what others do, it is measured by what you do with the ability God gives you.”

When I use my time, talents, and resources in a way to reflect the love God has shown me, I am living in success. If I can make a difference, no matter how small, in the life of one person, I am living in success.

I have also realized my success doesn’t require a specific physical location. It can take place anywhere.

I won’t be adding to the population of Success, Saskatchewan, but am grateful to this unassuming village for indirectly helping me redefine what is important in my life.

I Had to Give Up Control

perspective“Can I come for a play date?” I asked. My friend teaches craft classes and is overflowing with talent and creativity.

I told her a couple of things I’d like to try and said she could choose which one we’d work on. We set a date for the following week and agreed I’d wait until I arrived to find out what I’d be creating.

Since I have complete trust in my friend, I had no concerns about her giving me a project I wouldn’t enjoy.

When I arrived, my work space contained a large white tile, several small bottles of coloured liquid, two bottles of clear liquid, and a few other assorted items.

I was told I’d be working with alcohol ink. After a lesson on how to use it, I was set free to experiment before choosing what my final project would be.

The first thing I discovered was a lack of control over the designs made by the ink. I couldn’t set out to paint a specific item or scene. Once I made peace with that, I was free to explore the possibilities. The different tools for blowing the ink made varying patterns. The effects created were fascinating.

Somehow, knowing I could change the design by what Iiquid I next placed on the tile gave me the confidence to embrace spontaneous creativity. The happy little accidents gave me more pleasure than if I’d had complete control over the outcome.

I had always thought my life ran better when I had control. Giving it up was very uncomfortable for me. Maybe I had to look at control from another perspective.

My experience in playing with alcohol ink showed me that too much control stifles creativity. The ability to be flexible and go with the flow, can serve me well. This is true not only in artistic endeavors, but also in life.

I got more than I bargained for in this play date. I wonder what I’ll learn in the next one!

go with the flow
One of my finished projects

Culverts + Curiosity = New perspective

life lessons, observationsI’ve probably walked past this spot over a hundred times in the past two years. One day recently, I saw the culvert where the creek passes under the road in a new way. It looked like either the eyes of an owl or a giant pair of glasses!

I stopped and took a picture. Then, I got curious as to what the world looked like through these eyes. In order to find out, I had to backup several steps and then get down to ground level.

Where the previous angle only allowed me to see dark water; now I saw the reflection of blue sky, puffy clouds, trees and dry grasses. The change in perspective made a huge difference. Several more pictures were taken to provide a reminder of this.

I had been stuck in a rut and forgotten how to view my circumstances differently. First, I had to use my imagination and get curious about other possibilities. Next, I had to take a few steps back from my current point of view. Finally, I had to look at things from another angle.

When I followed these three steps, I discovered the beauty and clarity I’d been missing. It had been there all along. I just hadn’t seen it.

The saying about owls being wise must be true, because it was the image of owl eyes seen on the culvert that prompted the curiosity which led me to the perspective I’d been in need of.


new perspective

                                                        New Perspective

Lost Innocence

decisions, respect, deceitMy thoughts and conversation were dominated by one subject. After asking how the situation was going, my friend said, “You’re grieving your loss of innocence.” I laughed and told her that at my age, innocence was long gone.

Her further explanation gave me a lot to think about.

We’ve been coming to the same area for many years. The people are friendly and respectful. We have shown trust and respect to them in return.

Recently, someone broke that trust and deceived us. We gave him the benefit of the doubt and worked at a resolution. Our efforts were ignored, leaving us with a loss of time, money and trust.

Perhaps we’d been foolish in our actions. We hadn’t had a bad experience up to this point and failed to exercise the caution we should have. My belief in the inherent goodness and honesty of all business people had been broken. My friend was right in her assessment. I’d been innocent and now my eyes were open.

Looking at the situation as a learning experience helped me release the negative feelings I was holding. I was able to let go of the bitterness and anger. My thoughts were no longer dominated by this matter and life became peaceful again.

It was an expensive lesson, but could have been much worse.

As I was thinking about how people who are trusting are sometimes deceived, the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden came to mind. They trusted the innocent looking serpent and allowed him to deceive them. That didn’t turn out well for them or for mankind.

The bottom line is, they didn’t talk to God before making a big decision. Neither did we. We trust He will take care of us, but failed to seek his guidance in this matter.

Maybe my loss of innocence was the only way for God to impress upon me the importance of trusting him and not my own limited understanding. In that case, the lesson was worth the price.

Life is Like a Grapefruit

life lessons, observationsI enjoy fresh grapefruit with my breakfast. Lately, several observations have been made that led me to believe I could learn a lot about life from a grapefruit.

Grapefruits come in many sizes. The biggest are not always the best! Some of the larger ones I’ve had have been a disappointment in flavour and juiciness. In life, some of the bigger things I’ve gone after have not brought the satisfaction I’d hoped for.

Some grapefruits have smooth skin and some are bumpy and scarred. This is not an accurate reflection of what I will find on the inside. I have been pleasantly surprised by the sweetness of those less pleasing to the eye. If I only chose life experiences by those that looked the most perfect, I’d have missed much of the sweetness in my life.

One grapefruit was juicy and sweet until I came to a section or two that had tough, fibrous pieces. They were put aside and I continued to enjoy the remainder of my breakfast. As in life, I have the choice to focus on what isn’t as I’d hoped, or to carry forward and enjoy the rest.

Usually, I find seeds. The ones with many require a little more effort to eat. These seeds represent future growth. Left in nature, they would develop into more fruit. They remind me of the seeds of possibility in my life. What seems like an inconvenience may actually be an opportunity for future potential.

One morning I was enjoying what seemed like the perfect grapefruit when it squirted me in the eye! Even when all seems to be going smoothly, there can be something that catches me unaware. Do I get upset, or put it into perspective and move on?

It’s no wonder I enjoy this fruit. Not only is it juicy and refreshing, it reminds me to how to best enjoy life and its constant changes and challenges.

Soar Like a Pelican

nature, birds, lessons
photo credit: Caroline McFarland, Unsplash

Pelicans are not birds I expected to appear graceful. To me, these seabirds seemed ungainly.

My opinion changed as I watched several soaring over-head. With large wings outstretched, they caught an air current and let it carry them. Far above the water, they circled, dipped slightly and rose high again. All of this was done without much need to flap their wings. They understood the advantage of going with the flow – airflow in this case.

A flock of small white birds flew much lower and their wings worked hard to keep them aloft. They were using their own strength and not riding the current of air. They landed and took off again frequently.

More times than I care to admit, I am like the small birds. In order to stay aloft, I flap harder to keep going. My own strength is never enough for what I want to accomplish and the effort exhausts me.

As I watched, a brown pelican did its spectacular plunge-dive. These birds can be flying as high as ten meters (33 feet) and when they spot their prey, fold back their large wings and plunge to the sea to catch it. The speed with which they do this is amazing.

I can’t help but think this speed is possible because energy has been conserved when flying. They make efficient use of the resources available to them.

I want to be like the pelican and allow the wind beneath my wings to help me soar. When I rely on Jesus, he enables me to reach heights I would never achieve on my own. His strength sustains and guides me.

The choice is mine. Will I flap hard and stay close to the ground or soar like a pelican?