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  • Diary of a Pet

    Recently I was given a challenge to write a journal entry as if I were a pet. It was an interesting exercise. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

    pampered pet, diary


    What an unusual day. I was curled up on the pillow next to my human, Bonnie. We were having a lovely sleep when suddenly she jumped out of bed, startling me out of my slumber. As I stretched, she muttered something about sleeping in and being late. I didn’t understand the problem. It’s quite lovely to lounge around and have her pamper me.

    Before I knew it, she was dressed and out the door. I ran after her, crying my displeasure at her abrupt departure. We hadn’t had our morning cuddles. Where was she going?

    I padded over to my food dish for breakfast. The dish was empty. This was totally unacceptable. I jumped up on the back of the sofa to look out the window and saw her car disappearing down the street.

    After waiting a more than reasonable 2 minutes for Bonnie to come to her senses and return, it became clear that I’d been left to fend for myself.

    I went from the kitchen chair to the table looking for food. Nothing there. Maybe I’d have better luck on the kitchen counter. A few kernels of popcorn from last night didn’t interest me. The half filled glass held more promise. My attempt to gently get my head far enough inside to have a drink didn’t go so well. The glass tumbled to the floor and shattered. I was thirsty but not enough to risk broken glass on my delicate paws.

    Now I was mad. Bonnie must be taught a lesson. I went back into the bedroom and jumped up onto her dresser. One by one, I swiped my paw at each of her precious trinkets until they lay in disarray and a few extra pieces on the floor.

    I felt better but still needed to release more frustration. The cushions in the living room were a perfect spot to see how sharp my claws were. After releasing some stuffing, I was worn out and weak from lack of nourishment. A nap was in order.

    Much later I was awoken by Bonnie yelling, “Princess, what have you done?” I turned my back and ignored her. It seems she’s forgotten who’s boss around here. She neglected her duties this morning and I’m the one who deserves an apology. And a can of tuna.

  • My Compass

    volunteer, outdoors, skills
    photo from Unsplash

    Many years ago I was a Brownie Leader. I loved working with the girls and was happy to help teach various skills in the weekly meetings. My favourite part was teaching songs, singing games and folk dances. I spent hours at home learning these, so I could pass them along to the girls.

    When one of the more outdoorsy leaders organized a hike to introduce wilderness skills to the girls, I was out of my comfort zone. I had zero experience in this area but knew I could rely on her confidence and expertise.

    The day of the hike, each girl and leader had a compass. My job was to bring up the rear of the group to ensure there were no stragglers. It was a relief to know I only had to follow the others. At the top of the trail, my co-leader asked everyone to look at their compass and point to the north. I pulled mine out and confidently pointed, only to find I was opposite to everyone else. My compass had reverse polarity and I didn’t know it.

    If I had been relying on my compass as a guide, not only would I have become lost, but so would everyone who trusted me to lead the way.

    When I’m part of a group it’s too easy to follow blindly instead of paying proper attention. This is not a good thing. As I learned with the compass, I also need to be aware of my surroundings and direction.

    Sometimes in life my internal compass is off. Even a slight deviation can magnify in time to become a huge change in direction. If I’m not paying attention I end up somewhere I didn’t want to be.

    Lately, I seem to have been going in circles. Even though I’m moving, I find myself back in the same spot and have to start all over. It’s time to recalibrate my internal compass, find true north and confidently set off on my journey.

  • Catlike Grief

    I’ve come to the conclusion that grief is like a cat. They are both somewhat unpredictable.

    Sometimes it turns its head and ignores me. We peacefully co-exist but there is little interaction.I can almost forget it is in the room with me.

    Other times it arches its back and hisses at me. I jump back, wondering what happened to set it off. Still worse is when the claws come out and blood is drawn. This usually happens at times I least expect it. I need to hide away afterwards and tend to my wounds.

    Then there are days like yesterday. I looked around my living room and saw so many reminders of the life and love I’d shared with my husband. My metaphorical grief cat curled up on my lap. Whether it was there to comfort or to be comforted, I don’t know. Either way, we had some special moments as I stroked its soft fur and felt its heartbeat. We bonded in a new way.

    I’d never thought of grief in these terms before. Last night I dreamt about cats and wondered why. This morning I thought about it and understood.

  • Writing Challenge

    Recently I was given a challenge to write a 99 word story incorporating 6 words that were randomly chosen for me. This process was both fun and challenging. Below is the story. The 6 necessary words are in italics.

    I wanted to cry. The deadline I was up against left no room for slowing down, or even taking a deep breath. The pressure was immense. I’d never put myself through anything like this before.

    The second round took longer than expected but I completed it and was onto the third. I hoped I could get it finished. Moments later the signal went indicating time was up. No, not already?

    I was sweating and felt sick to my stomach as I awaited the results. Why had I thought it was a good idea to enter a pizza eating contest?

  • Airport Experiences



    Have you ever sat back and watched the people around you at the airport? I find it interesting that so many who are embarking on vacation don’t seem happy.

    On my recent trip, there was plenty of opportunity to observe those around me.

    Day one at the airport, there were about ten young women travelling for what appeared to be a bachelorette weekend. From the moment we boarded the shuttle from parking to the terminal, these women were full of life and laughter. And it was 4:30 am! They weren’t on my flight but certainly provided a great start to the day.

    After boarding, we were told our flight would be delayed due to a mechanical issue. People around me started complaining. I was grateful the issue was found while we were on the ground and not in the air! We were asked to disembark for the twenty minutes or so it would take to resolve the issue.Three hours after the scheduled departure, our flight was cancelled. I’ll spare you the details but there were a lot of unhappy people. 

    While I waited in line to rebook my flight I struck up a conversation with someone who was travelling for a medical appointment. That trumped the bank appointment and hotel I needed to reschedule. He remained positive and so did I. This was my first solo trip and I chose to look at everything, even the inconvenience, as part of the adventure.

    The next day I was again at the airport at 4:30 am. I watched three teenage boys almost vibrating with excitement over their trip. In direct contrast was a woman who sat for a few minutes, got up and paced and then sat in another spot. This was repeated several times and the look on her face said she wasn’t happy to be there.

    I noticed the shoes on another woman nearby and when we made eye contact, commented on them. She moved closer and we had a wonderful conversation. The difference in attitude between these two women made the wait much more pleasant for one than the other.

    After the first leg of my journey I had a long walk to customs. It felt good to stretch my legs. As I was putting my shoes, purse and other belongings on the conveyor belt to be scanned, I smiled at the person in line behind me. She started grumbling about the long walk and the fact she had to take her shoes off.  Needless to say it was a short conversation! The one things I’m fairly certain of is that I arrived at my destination in a better state of mind than she did!

    On my return trip I had many hours to spend between flights. The area I waited in had several vending machines. One had snacks, another had things like Tums, Tylenol and bandaids. Then there was the one that caused many people stop and investigate. It was filled with various large sets of Lego! I overhead one young boy saying, “But dad, I really, really want it. If you buy it for me you’ll be the best dad ever.” The dad walked on without responding and the boy had to follow. I imagine the best dad ever had heard that line before!

     My first solo trip was a success. Yes, I had a big inconvenience with the cancelled flight. My hand luggage was pulled aside at two different airports for a full search. At another I was subject to a pat down. The important things were I safely reached my destination and back, successfully took care of my business and spent a few days with friends. I was also able to return home with my positive attitude intact.That’s the biggest win of all.

  • Avalanche Zone

    Avalanche Zone

    My drive through the mountains was spectacular!

    There were times I’d round a bend and the vision of sun shining on snow capped peaks would take my breath away.

    Spring run-off sent streams of water splashing over the sheer rock face beside the road. This give me an intermittent display of tiny waterfalls.

    Mountain lakes had their own special beauty, making it difficult at times to keep my attention focused on the road.

    In other areas, road crews were blasting sections of the mountain. Most of this was to expand existing roads. Some of it was to keep the current road safe for motorists.

    I passed a sign informing me that I was in an avalanche zone and no stopping was permitted. I had no intention of stopping in this danger zone and was pleased when I encountered another sign to say I’d reached the end of the avalanche area.

    After passing through a few of these areas, I saw the correlation to my life.

    Personally, I have been passing through a metaphorical avalanche zone. My life has been shaken up and has lost the stability I once took for granted. At times it has been tempting to hunker down, uncertain of my ability to move into unknown territory. Who knows what danger may lurk there?

    As the road signs reminded me, this is not the time to stop moving forward. If I keep going I will eventually come out on stable ground.

    My shake up caused damage and a loss of stability but when I look around, there is still so much beauty to be found.

    I don’t know what is around the next corner in my journey. I do know, however, that I won’t discover it by standing still. I am determined to enjoy whatever today has to offer and move with purpose into tomorrow.

  • My Hallmark Love Story


    I’d never thought of our story as being like a Hallmark romance movie until Brian mentioned it to me just over a year ago. Once he explained his reasoning, I understood why I’m such a fan of these movies.

    It may seem like the plots are predictable and the couple falls in love too quickly. To me, they are a reflection of my love story with Brian.

    I was eighteen when Brian first caught my attention. I was working as a hostess/cashier at Smitty’s Pancake House in a new shopping centre. Brian was managing a lighting store in the mall. He came into the restaurant daily and our easy bantering soon turned into flirting. He had an amazing Scottish accent and I loved to hear him speak!

    One day we talked about being tired of the same old food on the menu and I mentioned Chinese food. He asked what time I got off work. I spent the rest of my shift in anticipation. When I was closed up the restaurant that night, he was no where to be seen. I waited a bit and then offered to drive a couple of the restaurant cooks home. Maybe I misunderstood and he hadn’t really asked me out.

    I found out later, he’d gone back to his hotel to change clothes and raced back just in time to see me drive off with a couple of other guys. Not the best impression to make!

    He avoided me for a week or two until I went into his store to buy something I didn’t need, just so I could talk to him. A few days later, Brian asked me out again. Due to a family commitment, I couldn’t accept. I thought I’d really blown it this time.

    Meanwhile, I left my job in the restaurant and went to work in the Hallmark Card store in the mall. I was smart enough to let him know where I was going so he’d be able to find me if he wanted to.

    One day he showed up in the store and asked me out again. When I said, “Yes” he told me that it was his birthday and he’d been prepared to use that to convince me to agree!

    Our first date was a few days later. After that, I started dreaming of our life together. A couple of weeks later Brian had to go out of town to prepare another store for opening. We relied on nightly phone calls and weekend visits eased the time apart. We also mailed each other Hallmark cards every day!

    Ten weeks after our first date we were engaged. Four months later we were married. I had just turned nineteen.

    Our happily ever after lasted for 52 years. Through good times and bad, joys and sorrows, adventures and challenges, our constant was laughter (Brian had an incredible sense of humour) and deep love. 

    Our first date was days after Brian’s 25th birthday. Our last date, was two days after he turned 77. I was by his side and able to tell him how much he was loved before he quietly slipped away. 

    Today would have been our 52nd anniversary. It seemed the perfect time to reminisce about our Hallmark love story. We never get to see how the ones in the movies turned out, but mine stood the test of time. The legacy of love Brian left behind will live in my heart forever.

  • Sunset Times

    sunsets, beautyOlder people are often referred to as being in their sunset years. I’ve heard the term many times but somehow this now strikes me as a beautiful metaphor for the time of life I’m in. I don’t always think of myself as older, but I do fit the description!

    Let’s talk for a few minutes about sunsets.

    People admire sunsets. They gather to watch them and are inspired by their beauty. Poetry and prose strive to do them justice. Spoken words try to describe them. Photos and artwork attempt to capture their allure. Nothing compares with witnessing them for yourself.

    Some sunsets are vibrant with colour. Others are muted. One I saw consisted entirely of wispy pink clouds. Each has its own unique beauty.

    The scientific explanation for sunsets doesn’t interest me. It takes away from their magic. The one thing I do know is that you can’t have a beautiful sunset without clouds in the sky.

    I love the thought of my life being compared to a sunset. Any storm clouds I’ve faced have served to add extra colour to the remaining light.

    Lessons learned, wisdom gained, opportunities embraced are so much more than memories. They are a jumping off place for what is still to come. Each add their own hues to the sunset of my life.

    Now, more than ever, it’s time to make my years count and pass on the wonder and beauty of life to those who may glance in my direction.

  • The Long Shadow

    Attitude, life lesson,Have you ever had one of those days when you would rather stay in bed than get up and do what you know you should?

    I was having one of those. To be honest, there had been a few lately. Hibernation was my preferred choice. Somehow I managed to convince myself that the easier option wasn’t what was best for me. Before I could change my mind, I got ready and went out for a morning walk.

    The sun warmed my skin as a gentle breeze caressed my face. It felt wonderful. My mood lightened and before long praise filled my heart and overflowed into song. I felt a lightness of spirit and the joy, previously M.I.A., returning.

    There was no explanation for this more positive state of mind. At least, not until I turned to walk in the other direction.

    Now the sun was at my back. A very long shadow appeared in front of me. As I stared at the distorted image with the freakishly long legs, the message became clear.

    God was using this shadow to illustrate an important lesson. When I keep the Son, Jesus, behind me, the shadows and darkness in my life intensify. The shadow is always in view and It becomes harder to look past it, into the light.

    Conversely, when I keep my face/eyes towards the Son, life is brighter. I am no longer walking in shadows. What a wonderful reminder that nothing I am going through is too big for Jesus to handle. When I keep my eyes on Him, He will show light my way.

  • The Invisible Woman

    hiding in plain sight,The last week or two has been difficult. I hadn’t realized how low I had spiralled until, during a phone conversation, a friend asked me what had brought me joy in the past week. As much as I wanted to find something to tell her, I couldn’t. Not a single joyful thought could be found. Loneliness overshadowed everything else.

    I’d experienced other times like this during my grief journey, but nothing that had lasted this long. Even though I’d been out and around other people several times, I felt like I was on the outside looking in and not an active participant . All I wanted to do was go back home and hide myself away. Something had to change before depression got a firm hold on me.

    A wise woman once said she had observed me make myself invisible when I was out of my comfort zone. The realization that I was again doing that very thing helped to explain why the loneliness was intensified when I was out. It’s hard to interact with someone who has faded so far into the background she can’t be seen.

    I have always been on the quiet side until you get to know me. Then, look out as my true personality emerges! When I had a partner to share my thoughts, dreams and everyday life with, this was fine. Past behaviours don’t serve me well in my solo life.

    Many years ago, when Brian and I were first dating, he took me on a road trip to meet his uncle, aunt and cousins. It was late when we arrived and most of the family were asleep. The next morning I was awake, dressed and sitting on my bed, with the door open, so I’d see when Brian got up. He slept in and I had a long wait! His uncle stopped at my door and encouraged me to come downstairs with the family. His words, “Don’t be backwards about coming forwards,” are ones I have never forgotten.

    Not forgotten but also not always practiced. While I learn to navigate this new journey I travel, Uncle Tom’s advice may be just what I need to help me rediscover who am I and find joy once again.

    I know my life holds meaning and purpose and in order to fulfill that I can not and will not become an invisible woman. If you happen to see me performing my great disappearing act, please remind me of this.