Recently I was given a challenge to write a 99 word story incorporating 6 words that were randomly chosen for me. This process was both fun and challenging. Below is the story. The 6 necessary words are in italics.
I wanted to cry. The deadline I was up against left no room for slowing down, or even taking a deep breath. The pressure was immense. I’d never put myself through anything like this before.
The second round took longer than expected but I completed it and was onto the third. I hoped I could get it finished. Moments later the signal went indicating time was up. No, not already?
I was sweating and felt sick to my stomach as I awaited the results. Why had I thought it was a good idea to enter a pizza eating contest?
Have you ever sat back and watched the people around you at the airport? I find it interesting that so many who are embarking on vacation don’t seem happy.
On my recent trip, there was plenty of opportunity to observe those around me.
Day one at the airport, there were about ten young women travelling for what appeared to be a bachelorette weekend. From the moment we boarded the shuttle from parking to the terminal, these women were full of life and laughter. And it was 4:30 am! They weren’t on my flight but certainly provided a great start to the day.
After boarding, we were told our flight would be delayed due to a mechanical issue. People around me started complaining. I was grateful the issue was found while we were on the ground and not in the air! We were asked to disembark for the twenty minutes or so it would take to resolve the issue.Three hours after the scheduled departure, our flight was cancelled. I’ll spare you the details but there were a lot of unhappy people.
While I waited in line to rebook my flight I struck up a conversation with someone who was travelling for a medical appointment. That trumped the bank appointment and hotel I needed to reschedule. He remained positive and so did I. This was my first solo trip and I chose to look at everything, even the inconvenience, as part of the adventure.
The next day I was again at the airport at 4:30 am. I watched three teenage boys almost vibrating with excitement over their trip. In direct contrast was a woman who sat for a few minutes, got up and paced and then sat in another spot. This was repeated several times and the look on her face said she wasn’t happy to be there.
I noticed the shoes on another woman nearby and when we made eye contact, commented on them. She moved closer and we had a wonderful conversation. The difference in attitude between these two women made the wait much more pleasant for one than the other.
After the first leg of my journey I had a long walk to customs. It felt good to stretch my legs. As I was putting my shoes, purse and other belongings on the conveyor belt to be scanned, I smiled at the person in line behind me. She started grumbling about the long walk and the fact she had to take her shoes off. Needless to say it was a short conversation! The one things I’m fairly certain of is that I arrived at my destination in a better state of mind than she did!
On my return trip I had many hours to spend between flights. The area I waited in had several vending machines. One had snacks, another had things like Tums, Tylenol and bandaids. Then there was the one that caused many people stop and investigate. It was filled with various large sets of Lego! I overhead one young boy saying, “But dad, I really, really want it. If you buy it for me you’ll be the best dad ever.” The dad walked on without responding and the boy had to follow. I imagine the best dad ever had heard that line before!
My first solo trip was a success. Yes, I had a big inconvenience with the cancelled flight. My hand luggage was pulled aside at two different airports for a full search. At another I was subject to a pat down. The important things were I safely reached my destination and back, successfully took care of my business and spent a few days with friends. I was also able to return home with my positive attitude intact.That’s the biggest win of all.
There were times I’d round a bend and the vision of sun shining on snow capped peaks would take my breath away.
Spring run-off sent streams of water splashing over the sheer rock face beside the road. This give me an intermittent display of tiny waterfalls.
Mountain lakes had their own special beauty, making it difficult at times to keep my attention focused on the road.
In other areas, road crews were blasting sections of the mountain. Most of this was to expand existing roads. Some of it was to keep the current road safe for motorists.
I passed a sign informing me that I was in an avalanche zone and no stopping was permitted. I had no intention of stopping in this danger zone and was pleased when I encountered another sign to say I’d reached the end of the avalanche area.
After passing through a few of these areas, I saw the correlation to my life.
Personally, I have been passing through a metaphorical avalanche zone. My life has been shaken up and has lost the stability I once took for granted. At times it has been tempting to hunker down, uncertain of my ability to move into unknown territory. Who knows what danger may lurk there?
As the road signs reminded me, this is not the time to stop moving forward. If I keep going I will eventually come out on stable ground.
My shake up caused damage and a loss of stability but when I look around, there is still so much beauty to be found.
I don’t know what is around the next corner in my journey. I do know, however, that I won’t discover it by standing still. I am determined to enjoy whatever today has to offer and move with purpose into tomorrow.
I’d never thought of our story as being like a Hallmark romance movie until Brian mentioned it to me just over a year ago. Once he explained his reasoning, I understood why I’m such a fan of these movies.
It may seem like the plots are predictable and the couple falls in love too quickly. To me, they are a reflection of my love story with Brian.
I was eighteen when Brian first caught my attention. I was working as a hostess/cashier at Smitty’s Pancake House in a new shopping centre. Brian was managing a lighting store in the mall. He came into the restaurant daily and our easy bantering soon turned into flirting. He had an amazing Scottish accent and I loved to hear him speak!
One day we talked about being tired of the same old food on the menu and I mentioned Chinese food. He asked what time I got off work. I spent the rest of my shift in anticipation. When I was closed up the restaurant that night, he was no where to be seen. I waited a bit and then offered to drive a couple of the restaurant cooks home. Maybe I misunderstood and he hadn’t really asked me out.
I found out later, he’d gone back to his hotel to change clothes and raced back just in time to see me drive off with a couple of other guys. Not the best impression to make!
He avoided me for a week or two until I went into his store to buy something I didn’t need, just so I could talk to him. A few days later, Brian asked me out again. Due to a family commitment, I couldn’t accept. I thought I’d really blown it this time.
Meanwhile, I left my job in the restaurant and went to work in the Hallmark Card store in the mall. I was smart enough to let him know where I was going so he’d be able to find me if he wanted to.
One day he showed up in the store and asked me out again. When I said, “Yes” he told me that it was his birthday and he’d been prepared to use that to convince me to agree!
Our first date was a few days later. After that, I started dreaming of our life together. A couple of weeks later Brian had to go out of town to prepare another store for opening. We relied on nightly phone calls and weekend visits eased the time apart. We also mailed each other Hallmark cards every day!
Ten weeks after our first date we were engaged. Four months later we were married. I had just turned nineteen.
Our happily ever after lasted for 52 years. Through good times and bad, joys and sorrows, adventures and challenges, our constant was laughter (Brian had an incredible sense of humour) and deep love.
Our first date was days after Brian’s 25th birthday. Our last date, was two days after he turned 77. I was by his side and able to tell him how much he was loved before he quietly slipped away.
Today would have been our 52nd anniversary. It seemed the perfect time to reminisce about our Hallmark love story. We never get to see how the ones in the movies turned out, but mine stood the test of time. The legacy of love Brian left behind will live in my heart forever.
Older people are often referred to as being in their sunset years. I’ve heard the term many times but somehow this now strikes me as a beautiful metaphor for the time of life I’m in. I don’t always think of myself as older, but I do fit the description!
Let’s talk for a few minutes about sunsets.
People admire sunsets. They gather to watch them and are inspired by their beauty. Poetry and prose strive to do them justice. Spoken words try to describe them. Photos and artwork attempt to capture their allure. Nothing compares with witnessing them for yourself.
Some sunsets are vibrant with colour. Others are muted. One I saw consisted entirely of wispy pink clouds. Each has its own unique beauty.
The scientific explanation for sunsets doesn’t interest me. It takes away from their magic. The one thing I do know is that you can’t have a beautiful sunset without clouds in the sky.
I love the thought of my life being compared to a sunset. Any storm clouds I’ve faced have served to add extra colour to the remaining light.
Lessons learned, wisdom gained, opportunities embraced are so much more than memories. They are a jumping off place for what is still to come. Each add their own hues to the sunset of my life.
Now, more than ever, it’s time to make my years count and pass on the wonder and beauty of life to those who may glance in my direction.
Have you ever had one of those days when you would rather stay in bed than get up and do what you know you should?
I was having one of those. To be honest, there had been a few lately. Hibernation was my preferred choice. Somehow I managed to convince myself that the easier option wasn’t what was best for me. Before I could change my mind, I got ready and went out for a morning walk.
The sun warmed my skin as a gentle breeze caressed my face. It felt wonderful. My mood lightened and before long praise filled my heart and overflowed into song. I felt a lightness of spirit and the joy, previously M.I.A., returning.
There was no explanation for this more positive state of mind. At least, not until I turned to walk in the other direction.
Now the sun was at my back. A very long shadow appeared in front of me. As I stared at the distorted image with the freakishly long legs, the message became clear.
God was using this shadow to illustrate an important lesson. When I keep the Son, Jesus, behind me, the shadows and darkness in my life intensify. The shadow is always in view and It becomes harder to look past it, into the light.
Conversely, when I keep my face/eyes towards the Son, life is brighter. I am no longer walking in shadows. What a wonderful reminder that nothing I am going through is too big for Jesus to handle. When I keep my eyes on Him, He will show light my way.
The last week or two has been difficult. I hadn’t realized how low I had spiralled until, during a phone conversation, a friend asked me what had brought me joy in the past week. As much as I wanted to find something to tell her, I couldn’t. Not a single joyful thought could be found. Loneliness overshadowed everything else.
I’d experienced other times like this during my grief journey, but nothing that had lasted this long. Even though I’d been out and around other people several times, I felt like I was on the outside looking in and not an active participant . All I wanted to do was go back home and hide myself away. Something had to change before depression got a firm hold on me.
A wise woman once said she had observed me make myself invisible when I was out of my comfort zone. The realization that I was again doing that very thing helped to explain why the loneliness was intensified when I was out. It’s hard to interact with someone who has faded so far into the background she can’t be seen.
I have always been on the quiet side until you get to know me. Then, look out as my true personality emerges! When I had a partner to share my thoughts, dreams and everyday life with, this was fine. Past behaviours don’t serve me well in my solo life.
Many years ago, when Brian and I were first dating, he took me on a road trip to meet his uncle, aunt and cousins. It was late when we arrived and most of the family were asleep. The next morning I was awake, dressed and sitting on my bed, with the door open, so I’d see when Brian got up. He slept in and I had a long wait! His uncle stopped at my door and encouraged me to come downstairs with the family. His words, “Don’t be backwards about coming forwards,” are ones I have never forgotten.
Not forgotten but also not always practiced. While I learn to navigate this new journey I travel, Uncle Tom’s advice may be just what I need to help me rediscover who am I and find joy once again.
I know my life holds meaning and purpose and in order to fulfill that I can not and will not become an invisible woman. If you happen to see me performing my great disappearing act, please remind me of this.
Today I thought I’d give you a look behind the scenes at some of my time in Mexico this winter.
I didn’t have to climb these stairs, just waited in front of them!
Paying property taxes in a foreign country is an interesting experience. When my inadequate language skills are thrown into the mix, it becomes even more of a challenge.
For the past three or four years my apartment has been confused with the one next to me on the tax roll. Since the amount payable is based on the price paid for the property, the one that had changed ownership recently was appraised at a higher value.
Brian had disputed our bill successfully in the past. The same was true for neighbours who took care of this for us when we couldn’t be here last year. Now it was my turn to pay the property taxes.
A canopy tent was set up outside of the payment office at City Hall. Rows of chairs were under the shelter. I took my seat in the next available chair. As the people from the front row were called inside, everyone else moved up a row. After 45 minutes, it was my turn to go inside and wait my turn. I handed over my last year’s bill and it was entered into the system. The amount I was asked for was three and a half times more than was paid last year. I said, “No correcta.”
The paper was returned and I was directed to another part of the building. I waited in the wrong line before I figured out I had to bypass this one and go around the corner to another area. In about fifteen minutes I was directed to a woman who didn’t speak English or understand my meagre Spanish.
She went to another desk and returned with Felipe, who spoke to me in English. I explained my situation and he told me the rates had gone up this year and I’d have to pay the higher amount. “My neighbours in the same building didn’t have an increase,” I said. He told me that was a mistake, their file must not have been updated. I didn’t give up easily.
After more discussion, I was given two options. Either I could pay the amount due or go to the Finance Department and ask if it was possible to get a discount. I chose the second option.
Felipe kindly took me through the building, up the stairs and found the Finance Office. He then went inside with me and translated. The manager, who had the authority to grant a discount, was out of the office but due to return shortly. Did I want to wait? Yes, I did.
Because it would be difficult to converse with this person, Felipe waited outside of the office with me. After about twenty minutes he got a text saying he was needed downstairs. He told me what was happening and then went back inside to give them his cell number, saying he’d come right back if needed to translate. What incredible service!
The kindness of this young man made all the difference to my stress level. Eventually I was called back inside and asked for my paperwork. The same woman we’d spoken to previously made a phone call and took my papers into her office. A few minutes later she returned with a lower amount written in pencil on the bill. It had been reduced by 25%. After my, “Gracias, muchas gracias.” I returned to the first area to pay.
Did I still pay more than last year? Absolutely. But, I paid less than if I’d just accepted the amount asked for.
As I walked away from the building I congratulated myself for navigating a difficult situation on my own. I learned that with perseverance and the kindness of strangers, I am capable of more than I realized!
We loved this place. Brian and I were refreshed by the sight and sound of the sea.
In the early years we walked the beach together, stopping frequently to pick up shells that caught our attention. Very few people were encountered on our walks.
Only a handful of apartments in our building were occupied. We relished our peaceful existence, a 20 minute drive from the town where we not only did our shopping, but also found a church home.
It was on this beach, as I communed with God, that I first felt the stirrings to write. Inspiration flooded my heart and mind. Brian and I discussed these simple things that seemed to have deeper meanings. I wrote down the thoughts so I wouldn’t forget.
We often walked in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. At some point during the walk Brian would turn to me and ask, “What song is going through your mind?” There was always a praise song at that moment, sometimes even the same as the one in his mind.
In later years we walked separately. I couldn’t keep up with his long strides when he was desperate for exercise. Not wanting to hold him back, we made the decision to each go at our own pace. Brian was often gone for two hours, clocking 10-12 kms. On a good day, I did no more than half of that. Later we’d share experiences and insights from our individual walks.
These discussions often served as writing prompts. Brian was always on the lookout for story ideas to share with me. Sometimes he’d show me a picture he’d taken and say, “This would make a good story.” I’d ask how and he’d tie the pieces together. Once I said, “Maybe you should write the story.” Eyes twinkling, he smiled and said, “I think I just did!”
I’m back on our beach now. This time Brian is with me in spirit, but physically I’m on my own for the first time here. I didn’t know if I could do it but since he had made his desire for me to return very clear, I had to try.
The first week was emotional. The second week was a bit better but I wondered if this would be my last trip. I’m only a few days into my third week but something has shifted. I’ve re-entered the rhythm of life here. And what’s more, peace has filled my heart and mind.
I’ve resumed work on the book I started writing the last time Brian and I were here together. Inspiration started to flow as I took a morning walk along the beach, carrying my beloved in my heart.
Brian knew what I didn’t when he insisted I return. God has met me in this peaceful place, started healing my heart, and let me know the next chapter of my life is waiting to be written. I am grateful.
A strong north wind had been blowing for several days. My son and I had been waiting for more favourable conditions so we could scatter some of Brian’s ashes along the beach that meant so much to him.
Our time to do this was running out as C was flying home the next day. Despite the wind, we headed out just before sunset. Emotions ran high as we wondered how we would know the right spot to stop. Nothing was preplanned. This experience was totally led by our hearts.
I stopped in front of an abandoned house. The ravages of storms had taken their toll on this house, just as the ravages of disease had attacked Brian since his last time on this beach. Somehow this seemed like an appropriate place.
We each took a turn, standing close to the water’s edge as the waves came in, shaking some ashes from the cardboard scattering tube. The tube was covered with a sunset scene over water. So fitting for this time and place.
No matter how far I leaned over the water, the wind blew the ashes back onto the sand. With great insight, C said, “This is the way it was meant to be. Dad loved walking along the beach but didn’t like to go in the water.” Perfect.
Before we turned to go back home, I sent a message to Brian on the wings of the wind. I told him I would always love him and never let his memory deteriorate and be abandoned like the house on the beach behind us. His legacy of love would live on.
Darkness had almost settled over us as we walked back. I glanced behind me and saw the cloud had parted enough so we were able to witness a beautiful sunset over the water.
We may not have known what the time and conditions would be for this emotional and symbolic event, but God did and he worked everything out perfectly.