Time With Tandy

Inspirational author and speaker

Time With Tandy

Inspirational author and speaker

Author: Tandy

Making a Difference

Please welcome Lynn Simpson as my guest blogger today. After you enjoy her words and her photographs you can find out more about Lynn in the brief bio at the bottom of the post.

Lynn Simpson Photography

Lifeless leaves in colours of blood and coffee on a dusty footpath crush beneath my worn hikers. I pull my wool hat lower over my ears with one mittened hand, the other grips my camera. Ahead, I know, is a low lying

Lynn Simpson Photography

bridge, over a cheerless pond, just four steps wide and seven steps to the other side.

I’ve been here before, on this trail in this national park close to my home. Been here too, during the times of chirping frogs and singing sparrows.

But today, under a silvery sky, the life sounds seem hushed. And this feels right. As my brother of only a few years longer in life than me, was recently stilled and silenced. His path moved now beyond this world.

My downcast eyes wander to lanky, burnt mustard grasses. I halt, grasp my camera in both hands, adjust the dials, kneel and frame the scene. Click. Reframe. Click. Capture a moment. Now. And then gone.

Lynn Simpson Photography

Gone.

And I wonder, in this moment, what is the point really? A captured moment just changes in time. And is lost. Gone.

Does it make any difference, to do this or that in this moment?

Do I make a difference?

I shake my head, try to clear of it of this melancholy. Fingers seek for tissue in my coat pocket.

Crush of lifeless leaves interrupt, from steps that are not mine.

You must be a pro, he says. I unbend my knees, stand. No, I reply. He is tall, slender, like my brother (my late-brother) with midnight black hair that matches the camera he clutches in bare hands. My friend gave me his camera to try for a day and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing and my pictures look terrible, he tells me, his face crimsoning. Can I see yours? he asks. I show him, am warmed by his delight. How did you capture that from that? He points to the field of littered grasses. It’s about the angles, and the scene, and the light, and the imagination, I tell him. I show him a few tools, a few features and simple ways to set the light, to frame the scene.

He clicks. Reframes. Clicks. Captures a few shots with the new settings.

Wow, he says, his grin infectious. That totally made a difference! Thank you!

There is a wooden bridge that crosses marsh-like waters just up ahead, I tell him. You may want to try there too.

He takes a few steps backwards, on this ginger path, waves a free hand. Great! I want to be able to show my friend later what moments I captured here. Thanks so much! he says.

I watch him turn away and move on. I look down. Auburn and chestnut coloured leaves stir from a light wind. I kneel, position my camera. And click, capturing a new moment.

Lynn J Simpson understands the need for creating spaces for rest, renewal, and transformation both personally and as a Professional Life Coach. Her own journey is rarely without a camera in hand, capturing breathing spaces to share. Her recent publication, Breathing Spaces-a 21 day journal of rest, reflection and renewal is used by individuals and groups to help create healthy mindsets. You can read more of Lynn’s musings on faith, hope and love at Inspiring Hope (lynnjsimpson.com), and connect with her on Facebook and YouTube.

February 1, 2018
Penny Collection

Do you have a penny collection? My husband and I discovered we are part of the multitude that seemed to collect these coins. For us this wasn’t intentional, it just happened.

Recently we brought our collection out of storage with the plan to roll and exchange them for paper currency. We were surprised to see how many pennies we had tucked away over the years.

The last Canadian penny was minted in 2012. They were discontinued because the cost of producing these coins was more than they were worth. Although not in circulation for several years, we still had an abundance of pennies.

We had begun to count and stack the coins when a grandchild came to visit. She was fascinated by the pennies and we stopped our counting to search for dates representing the birth years of her parents and siblings. Our granddaughter rejoiced each time one was found.

When we searched through the coins we discovered not all shiny pennies were newer ones. Each year came in a variety of conditions. None of this made a difference to their value. Each coin was worth the same amount.

I had plenty of time to consider this as we continued to sort, count and roll thousands of coins over the next few days. Some similarities between life and these pennies came to mind.

My worth is determined by God. He doesn’t just keep those of us who are shiny and attractive but has a purpose for everyone, even those well worn. This was a good reminder that no matter my age or condition I can still bring value to the world.

God is not going to remove us from circulation because it costs more to keep us than we are worth. In His currency, we are each collector editions.

I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. (John 10:28 NIV)

January 29, 2018
Honest Grief – Guest Post

Every person faces grief in their life. Some are thrust into the deepest, darkest parts of the valley of the shadow of death as they deal with life-altering losses. Serenity McLean is one of those people. With a background in adult education, she wrote Honest Grief to support others in their own unique journey through the valley. She’s my guest blogger today.

Without going into a lot of detail, I’ve lived through three years of loss. No aspect of my life was left untouched by the devastation. I hardly caught my breath from one major loss when the next hit. After three or four, I found it more difficult to get back up and carry on. After eight or nine, my life was a shambles and I was ready to just stay crumpled in a fetal position.

I’ve heard a lot of advice from well-meaning people about what grief should look like. From my perspective of walking in the deepest parts of the valley of the shadow of death, loss and grief, I wonder if many have become caught up in the happy-at-all-costs craze. In today’s instant gratification society, people expect instant happiness. Just look at the popularity of the song Happy – you know the one, “clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth.” Having dealt with a lot of grief, I can honestly say happiness is not the truth. Don’t be fooled into believing a person is failing at life because of an absence of happy while grieving.

The truth is, life is not sunshine and unicorns every day. Most of us will deal with a loss of some significance, and it takes time to come to terms with the pain, anguish, sorrow, regret, remorse, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, and a myriad of very honest and real emotions. In fact, there are more than three dozen challenging emotions common to someone grieving. None of these can be dealt with in three bereavement days. When they all come at once it’s going to take a lot of time and work to address what I call grief stew. There is a road through grief to peace. It just takes time to forge a path through the chaos and turmoil. It simply takes time to seal up the wounds of a broken heart.

So next time your friend experiences the death of their loved one, don’t expect them to find their way out of that valley of the shadow of death quickly. Be gentle with them in their sorrow, because they are being refined. Sorrow is one of the most difficult things we humans can deal with. Be patient with your friend. It takes a long time to complete the journey through that dark and lonely valley. Grief can require months, even years to work through. When your friend emerges from the valley, they will carry deep scars, but they will be exquisitely beautiful. They will be a person of fortitude. They will be someone worth knowing.

One of the best things (and hardest things) you can do for your grieving friend is to stay close. Now more than ever they need a steady true friend. When many disappear because they fear the unhappiness, you can accept this is their journey and remain their friend.

Serenity McLean, the author of five Christian fiction novels, just released Honest Grief, a not-so-ordinary guidebook to surviving the abyss.

January 25, 2018
Running From Fear

Nature has many lessons to teach us. I heard an interesting story about fear and survival in the wild.

When a zebra is grazing and hears the roar of a lion, it runs away from the dangerous sound. This decision often proves to be fatal.

You see, the male lion roars from behind the prey while the lioness, who is the hunter, waits ahead. In its fear reaction, the zebra runs directly into the path of the lioness and is caught.

Fear can also cause us to run into danger instead of away from it. No matter how hard we try, it isn’t possible to outrun our fear. The best option may be to face the fear head-on. We may find that it is nothing more dangerous than the roar in our mind.

God knew we would face many fears in our lives. That could be why the most repeated command in the Bible is Fear Not. Over one hundred times the words Fear Not or Do not be afraid are repeated.

We are also told the enemy prowls like a roaring lion. He wants to frighten us so we run into his trap. If we remember to trust in God rather than giving in to our fear we will remain safe.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

January 22, 2018
Jigsaw Tribute

This week marks the 100th anniversary of my mother’s birth. I can think of no better tribute than to share an excerpt from something she wrote years ago. She’s been gone for many years now but lives on in the following message.

At some time in our lives, I would imagine that each one of us has worked on a jigsaw puzzle.

Usually, the first thing we do is to study the picture on the box. It’s much easier to know how the pieces fit together if we have the completed picture in our mind’s eye.

The second thing that we do is to turn over the box and empty out its contents. Often our reaction to that pile of pieces is to wonder how such a jumble will fit together to form the picture on the box.

However, we set to work, turn all the pieces right side up and begin to sort them out and fit them together. Each piece has its own particular spot. Have you ever found one piece coming into your hand every few minutes? You try it here and try it there, and it almost fits, but not quite – so you put it to one side and go on with the rest. Whenever you find it in your hand again, you give it another try. Eventually, you find the right place for it.

Every piece of the puzzle must be there to start with, or we can never hope to see a completed picture.

Joining any kind of group is something like this jigsaw puzzle. Before we join we try to get an overall view of the whole picture. Then we look around at the number and variety of people who attend and wonder if we’ll ever sort them out and fit them together to make the picture we envision.

First of all, we have to turn them all right side up – that is, we have to find the right and good side of each. We can’t expect a piece to fit into our puzzle ANYWHERE. It won’t fit if we’re looking at the back, or standing it on its side, and trying for force it into where WE think it should go. We have to accept each person for who THEY are and not try to force them to be what WE want or expect them to be.

Some people are like the piece of the puzzle that keeps coming to our hand and we have difficulty finding a spot for. We must recognize the fact that everyone does not fit with everyone else all the time, but there is a proper spot where each of us belongs, and that no one else can fill. Every piece of a puzzle is absolutely essential if we are to have a completed whole.

It is my belief that our lives will be happier if we let each person take his place as an individual. Together we form the complete picture.

January 18, 2018
Come In From the Cold

My husband and I stood near the church entry, welcoming people as they arrived for the morning service.

Outside was a frigid -30°C. When people entered the building we shook their hands and I said, “It’s cold outside, come in and enjoy the warmth.”

My words had a double meaning. The first was obvious as the indoor temperature brought a welcome reprieve from the cold air outside.

The second was a little more subtle. Life can be challenging and the world often seems cold. The church should always be a place of hope and a refuge from the cold.

There is no need for anyone to brave the cold world on their own.

It goes even deeper than the church building. As a follower of Christ, it is my duty to extend a warm hand and friendly greeting to all. I was once told, “You may be the only Bible people come in contact with.”

When I show genuine care and provide a safe welcoming environment I am reflecting the light and love of Jesus. Only then will they trust me when I share the difference a relationship with Jesus can make in their lives.

There is no better way to come in from the cold.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)

January 15, 2018
Resistance

Our aquafit instructor asked us to do a cross-country ski movement with our arms and legs. The added twist was we had to do this without letting our feet touch the bottom of the pool.

She said, “The resistance will be felt in your whole body, from the neck down.” While completing the exercise I thought, “My resistance is normally felt from the neck up!”

I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this. My mindset controls what I am capable of achieving.

Years ago I clipped a cartoon out of the paper and had it displayed on my fridge. One character said, “I’ve realized that I’m the only one keeping me from reaching my full potential.” The other replied, “And a mighty fine job you’re doing of it.”

This served as a powerful reminder to get out of my own way. Too often the resistance I face doesn’t come from outside sources but from myself.

I read an excerpt from the book, Trade Your Cares for Calm by Max Lucado that addressed this very well. He said the widest river in the world is not the Amazon or the Nile. It is a body of water called ‘If Only’. He talked about the number of people who stand on its banks wanting to cross but never doing it. They are convinced the ‘If Only’ river is what separates them from the good life.

We all have a choice to make. Are we going to let the resistance in our minds stop us or are we going to cross the ‘If Only’ river?

“The good life begins, not when circumstances change, but when our attitude toward them does.” Max Lucado

January 11, 2018
Rules of the Game

I have happy memories of playing card games and board games. This enjoyment of games was passed on first to my children and now to my grandchildren.

Recently I pulled out a board game that had been neglected for many years. Nine year-old Emily and ten year-old Logan were excited to play a game their mom had played as a girl.

It had been so long since I’d played Big Deal that I had to learn the rules all over again. Fortunately they were printed inside the lid of the box so we had guidelines to follow. There were more rules than I remembered and it was easy to get confused and forget some of them.

We decided to start anyway and learn as we went. Many mistakes were made and I was grateful for understanding grandchildren. They asked lots of questions and waited for me to look up the answers. The rules were always beside me and they let us know how to play and how to win.

Life also comes with a rule book. It’s called the Bible. Jesus came to show the joy and peace found through following God’s laws. He demonstrated how to play by the rules in order to win the prize of everlasting life.

I still sometimes struggle with or forget some of the rules. Jesus is always beside me to instruct me as I go along. He is the one who makes it possible to play by the rules and win at the game of life.

If any of you needs wisdom to know what you should do, you should ask God, and he will give it to you. God is generous to everyone and doesn’t find fault with them. (James 1:5 GWT)

January 8, 2018
No Resolutions

image from PictureQuotes.com

Here we are at the beginning of a brand new year, filled with possibilities. This is a time of anticipation and hope for the future.

I recently read something that asked the thought-provoking question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

If you are having difficulty coming up with an answer to this, it’s been too long!

What better time than now? I’m not talking about making New Year’s resolutions. Over the years I’ve made many of these; some have been successfully achieved and many others have not. All too often they are forgotten in a couple of months or even weeks.

It’s not another resolution I’m referring to here but the opportunity to follow your dreams, goals and passions. They may seem out of reach. Is it crazy to take steps towards something that you can’t be certain of?

I guess that depends if you can be content in your safe, predictable life or if you want more. I’ve discovered by forcing myself to stretch I can reach much more than I thought possible.

I needed to step out of my comfort zone and do something that required a leap of faith. This required suspending my limiting thoughts and believing in the possibilities.

A quote by Mark Batterson (author of The Circle Maker) helped me put this into perspective. “I learned that if you’re not willing to put yourself in ‘this is crazy’ situations, you’ll never experience ‘this is awesome’ moments.

So, call me crazy but I am determined to start this year not with resolutions, but with embracing first time experiences and the possibilities they hold. I hope you will do the same. It’s going to be awesome!

January 4, 2018
New Year Prayer

As we end one year and embark upon another I’d like to share with you a poem my mother passed along to me many years ago. Every year I read it and appreciate what it has to say. Unfortunately, I don’t know who the author is. My prayer is that each of you will be blessed this way in 2018.

NEW YEAR PRAYER

May God make your year a happy one,
Not by shielding you from sorrow and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, if it comes.
Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy enough to travel any path.
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking all cowardice and fear from your heart.
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows.
Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you where man and his cause need you most,
And by making you anxious to be there, and to help.

Author unknown

January 1, 2018